pulp:

Is ageing ugly? I’d say it’s the freakiest thing on earth and I assume no one’s happy about ageing.

Still, as you said, there are people who seem enjoying it. Grannies running in the park, buying fancy lipstick from Dior, etc. It’s remarkable, but I don’t really think this could compensate the negative side of ageing.

Could you imagine Mick Jagger saying “Look how beautiful I’ve been ageing! I’m such a cool old guy”? I think it’s rather: “Shit! It doesn’t work anymore!”

Thus, the answer to your question - Is “graceful ageing” an oxymoron? - is simple: there isn’t any oxymoron, because there’s nothing graceful or beautiful about ageing.

chertioga:

did you see the huge mash with the face of an old lady, part of an advertising campaign in bucharest, “in search of real beauty” or something? Irene, 96 years. beautiful. “shining” old face. have you read cella delavrancea’s book “from a life’s century”? (i haven’t :P, my parents used to read passages aloud:). i think age can be graceful, and beautiful. there’s a feeling of cool friendly wisdom to some people, i am guessing people who have somehow come to peace with themselves. is it happiness? i think everyone is melancholic, and i dont think ANYONE is HAPPY to age. which doesn’t mean they cannot do it gracefully.

Kit:

We have ourselves an ace on either side of the net. Thank you, guys — well-written comments like these make writing a blogs a worthy pursuit.

alexandra:

Yesterday, my sick 88 year old grandmother, told me for the first time that she probably ought to “leave” for good (some words are never pronounced in my family). It was something very untypical for her so, after going to the bathroom and crying a bit, I came back and, trying to be cool, asked very decidedly: “Howcome?”
Already drawn back a bit, she said: “Howcome? Well, it’s terrible! What I have is terrible! Do you realize that it’s the worst thing one could be through? And this is all happening to me!”
I didn’t even have to think, my reply just came out. I said: “Well, if what you have were so uniquely terrible, do you think they would sell 3 sizes of adult diapers in every fucking farmacy in town?”
Unbelievable, but it worked.
That’s my grandma. Just don’t give her the cheap compassion.

Kit:

Heart-wrecking story, Alexandra.

A similar story in my family stirred me up to write the post.

Richard:

I was just having this conversation with a close friend last night, and actually the other day too, with someone else. Yes there are drugs, and surgical procedures, to slow down the aging process, and its appearance, and they do work. I live in a town, where 60 is the new 30 (Hollywood). But, the true silver bullet to slow aging is to continue to act young through exploration, and experimentation, and open mindedness. The most fatal aspect of age is an old, tired, and boring life. I’m sure that Mick Jagger still emotionally feels the same as he did 40 years ago.

Kit:

A boring life is a fatal move — I’ll try to sink this into my head, Richard. It sounds right.

Why do I believe you? Because looking at the way you’re getting younger for six (seven?) years now, I think you may have found the secret recipe.